What’s it Like Being A Black Girl in America

When writing this post, I wasn’t really sure where to start. I didn’t have the desire to use poetic words or catchy phrases to get your attention; I also didn’t have the desire to use a “upbeat” tone to cut any tension; or have the desire to be overly emotional in order to make my readers feel guilty. My whole purpose here is to share my experiences as an African American/Black Woman living in the United states. I will lay down my personal tribulations for you to understand why I am always so conflicted to just be myself.

When someone takes a look at me, the story is already written.

All it takes is one second for someone to scan me up and down and already settle on an opinion of me. It doesn't matter what I wear, how I sound, or how I enunciate my words. Most of the time, I'm seen as a lazy, uneducated 'black' girl who is just up to no good. I get followed around by store managers and cops because, obviously, I'm here to commit a crime. I always have to be aware because it could cost me my life if I don't.

The color of my skin can be used as a weapon against me.

White people are the experts at this. They will be so socially aggressive, and any appropriate reaction to their nonsense will get me labeled as an “aggressive mean girl.”

I am expected to be explicit and loud.

If anyone knows me at all, the first to tell you that I am a quiet, reserved individual. Pretty, intelligent, and someone who deserves to win the lottery holds a close second place, but we can discuss that another time.

The expectations that are placed upon me by my white or white-facing counterparts are way outside of my pay grade; for instance, if I’m the only black girl in the room, it’s weirdly expected that I will speak up for someone on my team or another individual just because I’m black.

Other irrational expectations include:

That I’m supposed to command a room because I’m black.

And I’m supposed to lead, but they don’t want me to lead, both because I’m black.

People are not a monolith; everyone is uniquely different, and trust me when I say there are quiet, shy, normal-speaking black people, just like there are in other races. Please read a book.

I don’t have the opportunity to stick up for myself.

Being accused is a death sentence; no one wants to go through constructive conversations to thoroughly understand a situation. Today, it’s about pointing fingers and ‘off with his head’” social punishment mentality. Again, me sticking up for myself will be deemed aggressive, so I’m forced to just take it all in; however, if I just ignore it, then I’m some emotionless freak who’s an evil bitch.” Either way, I keep it moving.

I’m stupid

Being from southern Georgia, there’s no way that I could ever receive a top-notch education that may be above my white counterparts. That doesn’t make any sense?

I’m “Gangsta”

Do not approach me with the expectation that I will join in and participate in that behavior. Let me clarify—I enjoy listening to my favorite rap artists from time to time, and the artists I admire have meaningful messages in their work. However, just because I enjoy rap music does not mean I support groups that promotes violence within their own communities.

Gangs create a false sense of camaraderie, and there is nothing admirable about that lifestyle. Additionally, approaching someone and assuming they identify with a genre of music based solely on their culture is quite frankly racist. how would you feel if I came up to you and started singing country music?

Exactly.

I don’t think you can comprehend the reality of people feeling accomplished or “badass” just because they told you off and you didn’t use an “aggressive tone” back.

I’ve been in friend groups where that ‘one’ insecure person has to feed his ego and try to start some verbal altercation with me.

Let’s get this straight: YOU ARE NOT COOL BRO.

Now, let’s move on.

I am “Cheap”

As a former server, I’m conflicted. On one hand, my worst tips have come from people in my own community. On the other hand, just because that’s my experience doesn’t mean it reflects the status quo for everyone, including myself. I always tip over 20% because I understand what servers go through, and I believe in paying it forward. However, not everyone in my community is cheap.